say everything?

i have just spent the past two weeks surrounded by my family. we are a scattered clan comprising of 6 siblings (including myself), 14 kidlets (including little 'a'), and two grandparents. for the most part we are very close. close in the way that we know where we come from and how important family is in our lives. family; what would we do without 'us'?

close for us becomes a grey area when it comes to unveiling our emotions. we enjoy the company of discussion on so many things, so many levels but run for cover when matters of the heart come to light. it isn't for lack of trying or the inability for compassion and understanding but rather the lack of 'what to say' when faced with such issues unless of course, it is a discussion about someone else other than ourselves.

our ability to discuss and rationalize and form opinions is like second nature. no, we are not always right. yes, sometimes we hold firm to these opinions like napoleon marching on moscow... a lost cause. however, at the end of it all we can reconcile, step back and laugh at ourselves, amongst ourselves. we are our best critics, our worst cynics and great strategists for situations not under our own individual realms. yet at the same time, without it being acknowledged aloud, we are undeniably bonded.

in light of my recent events, i have to wonder... if faced with an unexpected tragedy, an inevitable, terminal situation... what would be said? i pose the question in silence to my others: "what would you say to me if you knew you were dying long before your expectations"?

for myself, i would have to indulge in what i refer to as "the eulogy of my others" in which i recount with unhindered emotion my deepest feelings for this wonderful group of misfits i call family. i love them beyond words and with this statement, i have decided... there are no words that need to be said...

we just know. voila.