WTF!?!?

dinner seemed alot less enjoyable after making the decision to check my voicemail in the middle of mowing down my wonderful pasta creation. my father had called and i thought i'd just dial in and see what was up. the somber voice on the message informed me of the passing of my brother-in-law's father early yesterday morning.

we all knew he was sick, and terminal, and full of fucking cancer and that it was a matter of time before his passing would smack us in the face. my brother-in-law, big 'D', and my sister little 's' have been a statue of inspiration on how family should come together at times like this.

for the past 2 months, big 'D' has been making the weekend trip from toronto to halifax while little 's' has been keeping the fort back home. it's not that little s and the kidlettes don't want to make the trip out there on the weekends, it's that big 'D's father just didn't want them around to watch him die. i can't tell you how much admiration and respect i hold for this couple in making things work while enduring and preparing for such a terrible loss.

i am off to halifax for the next few days to do my part in being there for them all... did i mention how they were, at the same time, pushing me through all my own misery and keeping my world healthy? i love them dearly.

fucking cancer...
how can we kill it?
make it suffer, let the hurt linger
in it's own world before it chokes
so it knows, next time
and with second thoughts
never upstages the wonder
of life's experiences for us all
never to rip away
pieces of our hearts again.
kill it!! just fucking kill it!